Bleeding Hearts
by tears of broken dreams
Summary: The pain of being betrayed never goes away, once their was love and one child later it was gone. Now life is harder cause he wants back into a life he abandoned, i don't know what to do anymore. Should I try to forgive him or move on with my life?
1. Chapter 1

I Love you….

Three simple words, she wished he would say and three simple words were all she asked. His

actions proved the words to be true. But as of late he hardly said I love you. He knew what she

wanted; yet he could not say it. His heart torn between two and the words I love you. He loves her

he truly does but another crept into his heart. As night fell upon them, she spoke her words true as

she told him over, and over I love you. As chocolate brown orbs looked into amber eyes, the boy

stuttered and stumbled, no words came but the dreaded I am sorry. Tears streamed down her face

how could she have been so stupid, to think he would choose her. The boy tried to calm the

maiden down, yet to no avail. Shadows of the past clouded her mind; she remembered how he

came a knight in shinning armor. He saved her from those who hurt her and those who tried. He

held her many nights and she confided in him many things. And now after many wasted years, the

only phrase to fall from those lips is I am sorry. She looked up to the sky the moon shone brightly

against her ghostly pale skin. His hand touched her arm; she flinched and shook it off. She turned

towards him abruptly and looked her gaze with his. The look in his eyes was laughable to her she

saw pain raw fruitless pain. She broke the gaze and ran, she ran as fast as her feet could carry her,

she ran all the way to the house they had both called home. As she walked through the hallways

she saw many pictures that depicted their history. The more photos she saw the more they broke

her heart. Their they were her and Inuyasha both four months old being bathed together, The next

picture held their first day of high school the day she knew she was in love with him, then their was

her sixteenth birthday party where he asked her to be his girlfriend, the next picture made her silent

sobs audible their in that frame frozen in time was their graduation day and on that day he had

proposed to her. Then next pictures were more recent their wedding pictures the ceremony, their

first kiss as a married couple, and their first dance as a married couple. And the last picture she

saw their made her cry harder then she ever possible cried, In that still framed photo was her at

twenty years old after she had given birth to their now one year old son. Now the young girl of

twenty-one was alone, and heart broken. What could she do, where could she go? She knew for a

while what he was up to, though she never voiced it because she loved him so much, she silently

forgave him hoping it would stop. This was among many of the self-sacrifices she willingly gave to

be with him. She held her tears, as she slowly walked up the stairs. As she came to the top of the

stairs she headed to a room, which faintly glimmered blue in the night. There in the crib was cutest

toddler, he slept soundly with even breathing he like his father had silver hair and two cute puppy

dog-ears that sat atop his head. She smiled gently the relation ship might have been the biggest

mistake she has ever made, but this, this little boy was defiantly not a mistake. She quietly waltzed

out of the room and walked to her room. She went to the window and opened it all the way there

was no sign of that horrid bastard. She then stalked to the dresser and took out all three of his

drawers. The first was filled with expensive dress shirts and pants that her wore only on special

occasions. She took the drawer to the window and turned it over the contents of the drawer fell to

the ground next went the drawer. She had to admit she felt better. Next was his underwear

drawer, under his under shirts, boxers and briefs were the letters he had written to "her" which

"she" corresponded back to. She tossed the drawer and the letters out of the window with a force.

She then rushed to the closet and grabbed all of his clothes that were hanging and rushed to

through them out. She made three trips back and forth from the closet to the window to through his

clothes out. She made one last trip to the closet her eyes behind a site that made tears well up in

her eyes; there in the back of the closet was his wedding tux. The memories zoomed through her

head. She grabbed the suit, then went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of scissors and started to

cut it up. When she had finished cutting it up she through the shreds out of the window. Then she

slumped against the wall and cried underneath the window and the bright moonlight. She cried so

much that she fell asleep, whimpering and crying in her sleep though out the night.

**This is an Inuyasha and Kagome story just to make things clear. I hope you like the chapter. Plz review and tell me what you think so far. And also If any one wants to be my editor plz e-mail me. Thank you and please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Moving on….

The lifeless corpse that I have become is nothing more, than my seemingly useless existence. My past, my present, and my future destroyed by that one person whom I now know as Satan. He destroyed

me, took all I thought I needed. It is now time to leave all of that behind and move on with my life. After the divorce papers were filled out only two months back he made the stupidest mistake of his life.

He tried to take my son away from me. I was beyond furious I was ready to kill. In court he told the judge I was an unfit mother, he said my appearance said everything. Yes I was disheveled yes I had

reminisce of tears in my eyes, plan and simple I looked like hell. I hated him more than eve I remember clearly turning to the judge in my own defense and spewed the words that secured me my son. I

turned and spoke from the soul. I told him that of course I looked like hell but what is to be expected when the one you though you loved betrays you and then tries to take everything from me how would

he feel if it happened to him. I saw the look in the judges eyes and new I was winning. I turned to "the devil himself and spoke." Who was there in the midnight hour when he cried for food ME!!! Who

was there when he was sick ME!! Who was there when he gave his first laugh, his first smile, his first steps!! ME! And where was he your honor with that tramp there with him now. I turned to the judge

and looked him straight in the eye I carried that child for nine months, I bore him, loved him and I cherished every moment I had with him. The only incompetent parent in this room is that excuse for a man

sitting there I pointed to the silver haired jackass. If you can even call him a parent. He was never there he was to involved with his tryst to even know he had a son At that point I was out of breath and

fell to my knees that took every ounce of my being, I looked over to that son of a bitch and saw the shock on his face. The judge then deliberated and when he came back he granted me full custody of

my child. At that I was relived. I ran out of the court room and to my mother's house only a few blocks down. When I got there I smiled my little boy on his uncle's lap smiling without a care in the world.

I walked to my room and into the bathroom. I stared into the mirror. Who was that disheveled women, that gazed back at me? I took a shower and then fixed myself properly. I walked downstairs and right into my worst nightmare. There he was standing in the door way.

"What do you want?" I questioned hate laced through my every word.

"You can't take him away from me he's my son to." He spoke sharply.

At that I let out a small laugh "Your son. As I so wonderfully pointed out to the judge you are no father to him, you may have helped create him but being a father is totally different. Your brother was

more a father to this child than you ever were. And now I would appreciate it if you left my house." I said and stormed right past him.

He turned and left out the front door. I was proud of myself but my heart still ached, seeing him here was so very hurtful. The thought that he could walk in here and act all high and mighty was just stupid.

If only he knew. He hated me for having gained control of his son whom he thought belonged to him, but he would hate it even more if he found out that I had two things of his. One just wasn't here yet.

* * *

Two more months pass and I feel like I am living in a dream world. His face is every where on TV on magazines, in newspapers, but I could care less. They all talked about his big fabulous wedding to

her. I laughed at it in front of the others playing it off as if I had fully moved on. But inside I was breaking again. But I knew that I had to be strong for the three of us now that I was alone. I spoke to

Sango about it. She thought I should tell him. Like I could, I could not just call him up and say hey guess what I did not tell you before but I am pregnant with your second child now could I? I mean I

guess I could but I won't he left, me and now I have to be strong or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I had to quite my job seeing as how we both worked in the same law firm. So I got a job at a

bakery for a while, it works out for me I get paid and I get all the snacks I want for free. The owner of the bakery is a sweet old couple. They depress me. Four months down and five to go before he or

she gets here. I have been saving money for a home for three, but with the expenses of a child I might end up in a one bedroom apartment with two kids. My mom, Sango, Ayame, and Rin have all

offered me a home with them but I can not accept. My mom has my brother and my grandfather to look after; Sango and Miroku have four kids I could not impose. Ayame and Koga have two kids so

that won't work either. As for Rin she's married to "HIS" brother so the possibility of seeing "him" thought it might be low since "he" and his brother do not get along, it's still possible and I won't take

that chance. So now I am working my hardest to get the money and no I don't take money from others I am going to do this on my own.

* * *

Two more months have passed and I sit here on a hospital bed reading the morning paper. I am now six months pregnant, the doctor said I work to hard for a pregnant women and that is what I can

account the false alarm of pregnancy to. I felt horrid when he told me this I felt like the worst mother in the world, how could I put my unborn child to risk Like that. I was even more distressed when I

turned the news paper to the next page there was a large picture of "him and her" getting back from there honey moon. Tears stung my eyes as I looked at my overly large stomach. I had to persevere.

The doctor told me to take it easy when I was let go from the hospital today. And I told him in earnest that I would be very careful. I went to the bakery and told the elderly couple my dilemma and The

sweet old lady to me that it would be okay if I was to stay home for the duration of my pregnancy , and she would pay me for my absence. I was thrilled. With my last pay check I bought a small house in

a decent neighborhood. My little boy's birthday was two days away so I had to start planning for a party he would be two, I could not wait.

To day is my little boy's birthday he was full of smiles. When I went to wake him he was already up bouncing on his bed giggling like crazy because he knew today was his special day. It was going to be

a surprise birthday party at my mom's house. She insisted she throw the party for him, I could not refuse my mother. At three I took him to my mothers and as we walked though the door the shouts of

surprise rang through the air. My little boy giggled and laughed and ran about kissing and hugging every one. My eyes darted to the corner where one of my old high school friends stood. He was Hojo.

He was tall and muscular broad shouldered he looked more mature than he did in high school where he was the school nerd . He approached me and smiled giving me a hug and presenting me with

flowers. We talked of the past, and our present, and possibilities of the future. He made my heart flutter with each word, he had me in a trance that I wish would not have been broken. But as all my

hopes wishes and dreams it was dashed with the sound of a knock at the door. The party raged and I excused myself from Hojo and answered the door and to my horror there "he" stood poised and

confident.

My heart sank to the floor and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I slammed the door in his face and walked as fast as my body would allow to the room upstairs. My mother followed me and held my

head as I cried. "How "I sobbed "Why" I sobbed louder. " Kagome no matter how much you hate him he does have the right to see his child." I looked at my mother who wiped my tears away. She left

back to the party and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and fixed myself I knew this was a test from the almighty above and I would pass it.

I walked down stairs and I saw him speaking to my son. Yes my son not his that bloody bastard.

"Mama mama" came his sweet sing song voice.

I walked over to my son and "the devil" and looked directly into my sons eyes "daddy is here" he said pointing to his father, my heart dropped at my sons smiling face.

"I see mommy will be back she has to go get some water." I said as I retreated to the kitchen to get some water. I felt his stare as I retreated but I dared not look back.

As I entered the kitchen my heart slowed Rin was in there pigging out because she recently found out that she was expecting. Sesshomaru was delighted as hell and tended to her every need. I had to

admit I was a tad bit jealous but only a small bit.

I stared at Rins small frame she had not changed since high school. As I looked I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped, I knew that presence.

I turned around an met the gaze of the "golden eyed devil" "What do you want?" I asked indifferently.

He looked my form up and down before speaking "To talk."

He was impossible "look I really don't want to talk to you ever so leave me alone." I stated with an edge in my voice.

"I can't until we talk." He said I looked into his eyes they looked hurt, but I could care less.

"Why should I speak with you? Give me a damn good reason." I looked at Rin who was staring at us.

"Look I am sorry about everything I know that I hurt you, but I did not mean to it just happened." I looked at him and laughed.

"Oh that's a good reason it just happened." I was starting to get stressed

" I never meant to hurt you, I am sorry but I can't help that I fell in love. Could you expect me to just forget that and live a miserable life?" he said and that broke the last straw.

"Oh Ya you live a miserable life, you left me for some one else you walk in here with a lame excuse what do you want? If your asking for forgiveness you'll never get that from me leave me alone, Like

you said you fell in love with some one else, and you did not want to be miserable so you left me, but you being her is making me miserable and I HA……" I was screaming so loud and hard I felt a sharp

pain run through my body and I screamed I clutched my stomach and fell to the floor in pain. The next thing I know Sesshomaru put me in car and was driving me to the hospital.

This was the worst thing every the pain subsided and I was fine. The doctor said I was to be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I laid in the hospital bed Every one came to visit at one point or

another and as I lay there my thoughts turned to "him" it was all his fault everything. When we were young he hated me, when we were in high school he begged me to be with him, in college he told me he

loved me. He ruined my life, because I trusted him At that point my mother came in.

"Kagome Inuyasha wishes to speak with you and I think you both should talk I will send him in but if you want him out call for me okay.

I did not say a word she left and he walked in I made no effort to look at him or anything I laid there still as a statue emotionless and quiet.

"I am sorry about this Kagome." He said softly

I did not speak nor look just laid there.

"When I saw you earlier I guess I did not see that you were pregnant."

If he expected me to say something, I disappointed him.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked quietly.

I laid there still then words just escaped me

"I don't know. I wanted it to be a surprise." I said quietly

"Oh, who's the father." At this question I was stunned. The room was quiet for a moment as I thought about what to say.

" I don't know" In all honest I did not know, I mean literally I knew it was him but, it was not the "him" I loved.

"That's not like you kagome, I mean if you don't want to tell me its okay I….." I cut him off.

" Its I guy I used to know we don't really talk to each other, we both made a mistake although he visits often we both know this should not have happened." It was not the truth but it was not a lie either.

"Oh, well at least he is involved. I mean, that's good." He said some what with a disappointed expression.

"Ya its good. So what did you want to talk about?" I asked

" I came today to say goodbye to Kyo" He said slowly I felt my heart stop for a moment before he continued.

"Were moving away and well I probably won't see him for a while." I looked into his eyes.

" Oh well you can go spend time with him now if you want to and whatever." I said my eyes closing with drossiness

* * *

Its been a year to the day when that conversation happened, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Aiko. She has "his eyes black and silver hair and cute puppy dog ears like her brother. Since That

goodbye he has not called or written Kyo is three now and he hates his father with a burning passion for missing his birthday. It hurts to see him like that but there is nothing I could do about it. I am now

engaged to Hojo we are planning to marry in the fall. Hojo loves the children and he loves me and that all I can ask for right? As I read the paper this mooring I came upon an article ." Inuyasha the

famous attorney has divorces his wife Kikyo." I was shocked to say the least but I put it in the back of my mind when my beloved walked through the door with our children.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Inuyasha

* * *

I had been thinking about "him" lately, after his divorce from "her" I would have figured he would be back here to see Kyo, but he never came, and never even called. It has been nine months since t

hen and I have seen a dramatic change in Kyo he is colder towards people and he dislikes Hojo. A few months ago they seemed to be getting along but ever since "he" forgot Kyo's birthday, he has

been so different. Aiko is now nine moths old and a very precious baby, her long black and silver hair has grown and she loves to put it in her mouth. Her golden eyes smolder anytime she feels strong

emotions, and she has become a very ambitious baby, and she has even started to walk. Ever since Aiko has begun to blossom, I have thought of "him" often, thinking about what " he" would say or

what "he" would do. I can picture it all in my mind and then I begin to break down and cry. I know I shouldn't and I know I should have moved on with my life but when ever I gaze upon my beautiful

children my thoughts move to " him". Even though my thoughts of him trail on they will soon be total put in my past because Hojo and I are getting married in two months, and I am very excited. Yet, I

seem to be the only one who is excite about it, and I can't even begin to understand why.

* * *

Tonight are the bachelor and bachlorette parties. I am very happy Hojo is being taken out by some of his fiends and I am being taken out by Rin, Ayame, and Sango. This night is making my stomach

do flip-flops, because after tonight is the biggest day that will open new doors to the rest of my life. I can only imagine the things that will come out of this wedding, and I can only hope that I made the

right choice this time.

* * *

The girls swept me out of the house before I could even finish saying goodbye to my mother and my kids. They grabbed me and dragged me to the car and blind folded me, I can't say I was surprised

in the least, I new whatever they had planned was very spontaneous and probable not well planned. I sat in the back of the car with a very pregnant Rin. She was now ten month pregnant and very

moody and I felt bad for Sesshomaru, his first child and I knew he wasn't hoping for another one. Rin was overly happy one moment laughing and giggling away and the next she was crying her eyes

out at the simplest things. I can only imagine that Sesshomaru is having a peaceful time without her at home. When the car came to an abrupt stop I imagined all the possible places we could be, maybe

my favorite restaurant. When we stopped Sango opened the door and tool off my blind –fold and my gaze landed on, "Are you serious?" The mall they had the audacity to take me to the same mall I

had been going to all of my life. I was extremely annoyed because there was nothing here that I haven't seen or done before. Ayame who was standing beside me began to chuckle slightly. "What in

the hell is so funny Ayame?" I asked annoyance laced in my voice. She turned to me and her brilliant green eyes were shinning with happiness "Kagome this morning we got the call!" she said

excitedly. I ran into the mall the cool air-conditioned air hitting my flushed face, I could hear the many people rushing around me, I ran into a few people but I had not time to waste on apologies and

politeness. They got the call this morning and I could not believe that I had forgotten about this. I rushed around till I stood in front of my destination and with excitement I entered "A bride's world." I

stepped up to the counter where he owner of the shop stood. She glanced up and smiled at me. "Well Kagome I have been waiting for you all day your dress had just arrived from Florence this

morning and it is extremely beautiful." She said walking to the back to get the dress I had been waiting for. When the girls came in they seemed very smug and began to chat idly about what the next

day held. When the women brought out my dress I almost fainted it was perfect, it was pure white, form fitting it had a four foot train in the back and it sparkled with beautiful diamonds on the hem of

the dress and train and also on the bodice which was very corset like. "Well Kagome go try it" came Rin's excited voice. I took it into the changing room and put it on being extremely careful with the

dress I managed to place it on and then the shop owner came and laced up the bodice for me. When I stepped out into the light of the shop I felt amazingly beautiful, I couldn't even remember feeling

this way when I tried on my first wedding dress, which was very simple and nothing like the one I was wearing. Hojo spared no expense on the wedding and O felt very thankful. As I stood in front of

the mirrors in the middle of the shop my friends began to say how lovely I was and that I would make the most beautiful bride. I stared at my self in the mirror and began to think back to my first

wedding it was simple because at the time we had very little money ad we were both in school. As I came out of my memory flash back they told me to twirl around so they could see and I did so and

when I turned half way to where I was looking out of the doors of the shop there I saw two golden eyes that pierced mine. My heart began to race and I felt as if I could not breathe, I felt as if at that

exact moment I could have died., then those golden eyes broke away from mine and I felt my self move to the dressing room and quickly change. I felt sick and uneasy and asked to be taken home.

* * *

I walked into the nursery and looked at the sleeping forms in the crib there was my three year old sun and my nine month old daughter. I stayed as quiet as possible. Could it have been "him" golden

eyes were not common for demon unless they were from the same clan as Sesshomaru and his father. As I stared at my children I heard Aiko whimper, and thought back to when Kyo was a baby

and "he would speak in dog demon to calm him down. I gently picked up Aiko, her eyes opened and she began to smile I held her close and in my heart after gazing in my child's eyes I knew it was

"him"

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling uneasy the morning went by in a blur getting read, sitting in a chair all morning and whishing that time would speed up so that I could begin my new life. The girls and

I headed to the church in the limo and when we got there the girls began to set up inside of the church and I sat in my dressing room when I heard to elderly relatives of mine speaking in a whispering

fever.

"I heard that Inuyasha is back in town" my father sister whispered.

"Oh yes poor dear got his heart broken, I heard he is awfully thin and on the verge o a break down" my fathers cousin said.

"How can you feel sorry for the fool, he broke Kagome's heart without a care and left her with two children who lack the presence of a father, that boy got exactly what he deserved." My father's

sister said.

And with that I stopped listening, my aunt was right he got what "he" deserved, and I would not feel even a bit sorry for him. An hour later the ceremony began I was waiting to walk in I was to be

escorted by my brother. When I walked into the church and every one stood silently and in awe I could not help but feel as if something was wrong. When I got to the alter and saw Hojo my heart

sunk and I could not believe what I was about to do, my head said I loved Hojo and I knew I loved his company and friend ship but my heart my heart still felt broken. When we got to the vows we

both said I do and when it came time for objections I was surprised at who stood up. It was Kyo.

"Mommy don't, do this please mommy don't marry him." Kyo said tears spilling from his eyes. I rushed over to my son to comfort him and reassure him that marrying Hojo was the right thing to do.

But the tears came harder and his crying louder he kept telling me not to. I looked up to Hojo and at ever one who was there. "I need a moment with Kyo, we will be right back" I said more to Hojo

than anyone else. He nodded his head and I picked Kyo up and took him to the hall way.

"Kyo honey what's wrong. Why don't you want me to marry Hojo? I though you liked him?" I asked.

"Mommy I do like him he is nice but you can't marry him please mommy please don't" he began to cry again. I looked at him and knew what I must do.

I walked back into the church and right up to the alter, I took the ring off of my finger and took Hojo's hand and placed the ring inside his hand. "Hojo I am so sorry but I can't marry you not if it is

going to hurt my family, you must understand I care for you I truly do but I can't be selfish I have to think of my family. You knew when we met again that I had a family and I told you they always

came first, even though I want to marry you I can't and for that I am sorry and hope that some where in your heart you can forgive me someday." With that I turned around to the guest and apologized

to them and walled out of the church and into the sunset with my children. We walked till we got to the park. I was still in my wedding dress Kyo in his tux and Aiko in her flower girl dress and I let them

play. When I sat on the swing I felt a presence sit down next to me, I did not look over till, I felt something Familiar about the presence beside me. I looked over and was captivated by two golden

orbs that took my breath away.

* * *

Please Review 


	4. Chapter 4

We sat for what seemed like hours staring into each others eyes

We sat for what seemed like hours staring into each others eyes. The hurt the pain the

anger it all filled my heart and the tears came. They flooded my eyes and fell like rain.

My heart was broken in to many ways to ever be fixed and I realized that when I looked

Into his eyes. I sobbed harder, I felt my lungs tighten everything was spinning I could not

Control these emotions and I hated myself for at. I hated him for hurting me, for leaving

his family, for abandoning everything, to do what? I felt a small hand on my leg and

looked to see Kyo holding a crying Aiko My children I had been trying to be strong for

them never showing my pain and now it was shinning threw. As I took Aiko in my arms,

my tears ebbed . She tears dried Kyo hugged my leg and I looked over to Inuyasha. His

eyes where filled with so many emotions and I saw a single tear slide down his cheek.

A day passed since that evening in the park no word where exchanged but it felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I felt some what free. I checked my answering machine and a message from Hojo was there, as I listened to it, It made me smile, he said he understood about my situation and if I ever needed him all I had to do was call.

When I got home from work that evening I saw my mother in my living room and to my surprise she was sitting there with Inuyasha. I was shocked they where talking.

"Kagome" my mother said when she saw me. I nodded and approached with caution. "I am taking the kids to my house tonight. You two" she said pointing between me and Inuyasha "need to talk and you couldn't possibly with the children here. My mom stood and went to get the kids ready. Kyo rushed into the room " I am not going grandma and you can't make me" I was about to reprimand him when Inuyasha spoke " Kyo you will not talk to your grandmother like that now apologize." He said firmly but Kyo snorted and looked at him "I don't have to listen to you." Kyo shouted at Inuyasha and Inuyasha looked at him firmly again "You will I am your father." He said loudly. "Kyo looked up at him "NO YOUR NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!!" he screamed. "STOP" I shouted. "Kyo you will apologize to your grandmother and hope she forgives you, and you are going with her so march your but in your room and get your thing." I said and Kyo stomped off. When they where all ready I kissed the children and my mom goodbye and I tried to prepare myself for the night to come.

He sat on the couch and I on at the dinning room table for an hour before he spoke. "Kagome, I don't know what to say." He said sounding somewhat scared. I looked at him appalled by his words. I stood "then what are you here for?" I asked pain laced into my voice. "To tell you how sorry I am, but I am not sure you will forgive me." He said. I felt the anger rise inside of me again. "Of course I am not going to forgive you, Why would I" I asked. "Kagome, I was stupid and what I did was wrong, but how can I make up for it." He said with pleasing in his voice. "Inuyasha that's the thing you can't I can never forgive you for what you did you abandoned be and our son." I said trying not to cry. " Kagome, I..I don't know what to say," he said. "Why?? Start with that explain to me the whole story everything." I demanded "I don't want to hurt you" he said. I scoffed "To late, so tell me."

After he left I though about what he said. He met her at a party, they talked and had a lot in common it started as a friendship, she dropped by his office they talked and, one day he kissed her, he said he felt such a connection, he said that he cared for her and they began their relationship, he told her he was married and had a son, she didn't care and neither did he. They got so serious that he was planning on divorcing me but I caught them first. As he spoke he then began to talk about when they where married and how life seemed perfect. But she began sleeping around with some guy she was doing business with. When he caught them he said he realized what I felt. He was hurt and he was a mess and he could not help but drink him self to almost death. He said he came back because of Kyo. Then he asked me a perplexing question was Aiko his, I nodded and he looked angry and sad. He asked about the kids and what they did while he was gone, all the things he missed in Aiko life. I gave him the picture albums and DVD's of her firsts. He asked about myself and about my engagement and wedding. I told him the whole story. The talk we had was civil but my heart was still bleeding but not as much as before. I can never see my self forgiving him.


	5. Chapter 5

It stated with a Kiss…It ended with the bond of heart break

* * *

It was a year since Inuyasha came back into our lives, Kyo was happy Aiko was to. They had their father around as much as they wanted. Though I did not forgive him, I knew he needed the kids as much as I did when he left me. We talk sometimes, we argue a lot, and in fact it's as if we are married again. I shudder at this thought, it still hurts, I still hate him, and I know I won't forgive him.

He comes around his golden eyes piercing my soul gauging my reaction when he gets close to me, when his hand accidentally brushes against mine. My body yearns for a touch and to say I want any mas would be a lie, I want his again, but I won't give in I can't. No matter what he does no matter how he worms his way into the kids' hearts I won't give in to him never again.

I have been going out lately on dates set up by Rin and Ayame, Sango has been against it from the beginning saying that when the right man comes he will sweep me off my feet and I will never want his to let go. I scoff at that thought, because that's how I felt with Inuyasha and look how that turned out. But things changed when I met someone I had not seen since high school. His name is Bankotsu and he is very handsome. He has dark brown eyes, pale skin; he is very muscular and strong. He makes me feel alive and free, and his kiss is amazing. When I introduced him to Kyo he hated him, I expected as much seeing as how Inuyasha had told him stories of Bankotsu, but Aiko loves him.

It puts a smile on my face every time I see him with her, its like he is apart of our family, I know he will be a great father, and I even want him to take the responsibility of being one to my children and our own. Yet, in the back of my mind his golden gaze is watching me forcing me to remember him, his touch his kiss, his being. This is the because of the bond, the one I thought I destroyed when he left me.

He marked me when our first time together, I thought it meant for eternity, guess I was young and stupid, cause it wasn't for him, but for me it was. I thought I had purified him out of my system, and when he was away it had worked, but with every day he is near I can't even push him from my mind. I feel trapped. I spoke to Bankotsu about it, and he doesn't mind or at least that is what he is telling me, I hope it's true I like being with him, I feel so free.

* * *

It was Aiko's birthday I thought it was going great; everyone was in the house with their kids celebrating one of the best days of my life, my little girl's birthday. Of course how could I have been so stupid as to think nothing would go wrong? I had asked him outright if he would mind Bankotsu coming, he growled and bitched and complained saying he wasn't family, he wasn't even a friend. Which I quickly reprimanded him for by saying he was family and one of my dearest friends. I could tell this set him off but I didn't care. He is my boyfriend, and Inuyasha is my ex he would learn to deal.

Too bad he couldn't learn fast enough, Bankotsu came with the sweetest gift in my mind. A golden locked with a picture of me and the kids on one side and a picture of him and us together on the other. I thought it was sweet, it meant so much I cried. But their went Inuyasha growling and starting a scene, saying that they were his kids and not Bankostu's. Bankotsu agreed readily and I thanked him for that silently but then he pulled out a box, a light blue box with a white ribbon on it, and he walked towards me. He got on one knee and asked the question I had been longing to hear.

All eyes were on me, I couldn't breathe, he was watching my every move, his eyes darkening, I wanted to say yes, my mind was screaming, begging, me to say yes. But I was caught, like a deer in the head lights. If I said yes it would send him over the edge I knew that, but I couldn't keep the words from coming out.

* * *

He snapped he grabbed me faster than anyone could have stopped it even Sesshomaru who had been entertaining his son nearby. He took me to his house, a house that used to be ours, a house I wanted nothing to do with, and one that needed to be burnt to the ground and left alone, just like this twisted relationship we had found ourselves in. But in his demon state there is no getting through to him.

He growled at me trying to frighten me, but that shipped sailed long ago, when I first met this side of him. I didn't want to pacify him, coddle him to return to the hanyou he was. I wanted him pissed deep down I wanted his to suffer, to feel the burning pain he put me through. I suffered through it all, I accepted him for who he was and I suffered for it. I told him straight out that I was not his and never would be again, and now I have the scars to prove it.

He hasn't spoken to me since, it's been a month, and Rin tells me he is sorry and he wants to apologize, but I tell her I don't want to hear it. It is way too late for more of his apologies. I have accepted my fate and I will answer its call. I will get married I will move on and I will forget.

Forget the pain, forget the pleasure, forget the love, forget the heart break, forget that I ever knew him as well as I did. I planned to seal my heart from him so that he may never enter it again. And for a while it worked, until I started getting the small notes.

When we first met he left them in my locker, under my pillow, in my car. They were notes spilling his otherwise silent emotions out to me. I found them on my desk at work; I found them in my mail box at home. They bore his soul, and I let them into mine. He was ruining my life again, I wanted to stop I wanted to let go and move on but their he was at every turn, his eyes watching me and guiding me back to him.

This time though I was going to fight I was going to make him admit his wrong doings, his selfishness; I was going to break him. Oh I would let him in and then I would crush him like he crushed me. I told Bankotsu I couldn't accept his proposal, I needed time, I told him the truth that Inuyasha was working his way back into my world, and Bankotsu vowed to fight. Let the plan begin.

It started with A kiss yes I kissed Him when he came to apologize, I was letting him in but this time, I would not fall he would and I would be the one crushing his soul.


End file.
